Has your kid ever brought home one of those cute Mother’s Day questionaries? You hold it and think it’s going to be full of those cute little phrases like the ones that go viral on Facebook. Then you open it, read it, and go ‘well crap, maybe I’m not so good at this whole Mom thing.’ It happened to me and I let negative self-talk win.
Now, I’ve never claimed to be one of those Pinterest moms. You know, the ones that always seem to have it together and are always doing a fun activity. I’m more of a ‘let’s try to survive today’ kind of mom. We watch the TV. Sometimes we have hot dogs for breakfast. My big kid has an iPad. But we also play and laugh every single day. I thought I was doing pretty ok.
And then I read this:
I wanted to fire off an email to her teacher that said:
‘What you don’t know is that we argued this morning about not touching mommy’s computer. I am not on it all the time. The dishes are usually done. We play together all the time. She doesn’t come home and go to sleep.’
But I didn’t. I thought about all the judgment that was probably tossed my way during that activity.
Right as I was hitting the downward spiral of self-talk, I asked myself why are you doing this? Why are you letting this card- that was supposed to be a cute gift- totally tank your day? Is it worth it?
No. It wasn’t. And I realized at that moment that the card wasn’t a bad thing. Yes, mommy does get on her computer. And yes, sometimes we do have dirty dishes on our counter for longer than I’d like to admit. But you know what, that’s ok.
Mommy does get on her phone or the computer periodically because that’s where all of her friends live. My village is there. Adults that I can talk to are there. Now and then I need a break from the kid-centric world that I live in. And that’s ok.
Dishes don’t always get done every single day; an 80% completion rate is pretty good considering all of the chaos that needs manages on a daily basis. Our house isn’t dirty. The thought that people were judging us for living in a pigsty made me anxious.
Also…. I have to mention; sausage is most definitely not my favorite food. It doesn’t even rank in the top ten, though my husband got a good chuckle out of it. Yep. Giggled like a teenage boy when he read it. His laughter lifted my spirits and reminded me that this was, after all, meant to be a sweet, humorous card.
I had only looked at the not so great things and I completely missed the adorable things she had said like ‘my mom always says thank you.’ And, ‘I love my mom because she gives me kisses.’ Y’all and she was so proud of these cards. I let negative self-talk and fear of judgment take that moment from me.
Tomorrow I’ll wake up, have a cup of coffee, take another look at these cards, and tell my daughter how much I love them and how much I love her. I’ll do better tomorrow. I’m going to do my best to make sure negative self-talk and fear of judgment don’t steal little moments from me again.
Every day is a new opportunity to challenge yourself. Do something a little better. Change something you don’t like. I’m going to add some extra positive affirmations tomorrow. What will you do?
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